


Pretend

by stringofpearls



Category: American Vandal (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), post-Season 1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-05 14:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16369697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stringofpearls/pseuds/stringofpearls
Summary: Sam asks Peter to pretend to be his boyfriend at his cousin's graduation party. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set between seasons 1 and 2, at the end of Peter and Sam's junior year.

Over the years that Peter has been friends with Sam Ecklund, he has come to learn and accept some things about Sam, about himself, and about their friendship. For instance, he’s learned that Sam is weirdly good at pretty much every card game in existence. He’s also learned that he himself is way more competitive when it comes to card games than he originally thought. Perhaps most importantly, he’s learned that they both have an uncanny knack for getting themselves into weird situations. And when one of them ends up in a weird situation, the other usually somehow ends up getting involved too. It’s gotten them into trouble on occasion, but for the most part it works out. They do dumb shit, they drag each other—and sometimes Gabi or occasionally Dylan—into their dumb shit, they get along, it works.

Or at least it did. Because unfortunately, the past few months have been marked, at least for Peter, by another realization about their friendship. Namely, that he might possibly have a little bit of a thing for Sam. Which, okay, might be an understatement. Because maybe Peter kind of has a ridiculous, painful, all-consuming crush on his best friend. And it’s presenting a lot of problems. Like, he suddenly has a harder time responding to things Sam says to him because he’s too distracted by his eyes or his smile or some stupid shit like that. Not to mention that, in addition to being friends, they’re also filmmaking partners. Sam teases Peter about being too fixated on professionalism, but he can’t help it. He _does_ care about being professional, even if he’s only seventeen and _Vandal_ is the only good thing he’s ever made. Especially now that they’re, well, kind of famous. It’s cool, but in Peter’s opinion it also means that they need to be more careful than ever about how they’re perceived. Which is why this stupid crush is so damn inconvenient, because what’s less professional than falling for the person you have to work with and see every day? On top of that, it’s getting harder and harder to go about his daily life, hanging out with Sam, making movies with him, and pretend that everything is totally normal. Peter’s never been great with social cues, so he doesn’t really know if Sam is picking up on anything, but he feels like he’s having a progressively harder time being subtle about it. Which is unfortunate, because he does _not_ need Sam finding out about this. It would probably screw up both their friendship and their professional relationship, not to mention that it would just be really embarrassing.

Yet another problem presented by this whole crush situation is that he now even has a harder time saying no to whatever ridiculous thing Sam is trying to get him involved with. So when Sam pulls him aside after the Morning Show one day, just before the end of their junior year, and says, “Hey, so I kinda fucked up,” Peter knows immediately that he’s about to get pulled into some serious shenanigans. And to be fair, it’s not like he hasn’t dragged Sam into his share of shenanigans, but he’s pretty sure Sam doesn’t have the added disadvantage of having to contend with an unfortunate and ill-advised crush.

“Um, okay,” Peter says. “What happened?”

“So you know how I came out to part of my extended family last month and my uncle was really fucking annoying about it?”

“Yeah, didn’t he just, like, not believe you?”

“Yep. Well, today he came over and we kind of got into it again and he said he’ll ‘believe I’m gay when I bring home a guy.’ And I...kinda told him I just started dating a guy? And I could tell he didn’t believe me--which, like, fair, because I was totally lying--but then he asked me what the guy’s name was, and my brain short-circuited and I said your name because it’s the first thing I thought of. And _then_ he said I should bring you to my cousin’s graduation party next week. And I could tell he was saying it like…like a challenge, you know? Like he could tell I wasn’t gonna do it. So yeah, basically what I’m saying is I kind of need you to come to a party with me and pretend to be my boyfriend.”

It takes Peter a moment to process everything Sam just said—partially because Sam was talking fast and Peter isn’t always the best at understanding people, and partially because _what the fuck_. When he finally absorbs everything that was just thrown at him, he groans and buries his face in his hands.

“Oh my god,” he mumbles.

“I know. Trust me, I know,” Sam says. “But like, it’ll be kind of fun, right? It’s kinda like that investigative reporting shit you’re into.”

“ _How_ is it like that?”

“Uh, we’re...we’re going undercover and pretending to be a couple to investigate whether my uncle will actually be less of an asshole about me being gay if I bring a guy to my cousin’s graduation party. Which is actually pretty fucking counterintuitive, but that’s my stupid family for you.”

Peter hesitates. He has to admit, it does kind of sound like it could be fun. Maybe. Torturous for sure, but possibly also fun.

“Listen, I was probably gonna ask you to come with me anyway so I won’t just be with my family. Well, I was gonna ask you and Gabi both, but she’s gonna be out of town.”

Sam grins hopefully at Peter, and Peter can’t help but feel weirdly endeared. Because of course.

“Okay, fine,” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Nice! Thank you so much, dude,” Sam says, high-fiving him. “Oh shit, I have to get to class. I’ll see you later, yeah? We’ve got, like, a week and a half until the party, so we’ve got time to get our story straight. Or, you know. Not straight.”

And with that, he’s gone, leaving Peter wondering what in the _hell_ he just got himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this fic for about a million years, and while it was originally supposed to be one chapter, I kinda figured if I didn't start publishing it I might never finish it, so it's going to be a few (pretty short) chapters!


	2. Chapter 2

The day after the school year ends, Peter finds himself at Dylan’s house, where he’s been going semi-regularly lately. Now that the whole thing with the dicks has been over for a while, Peter and Dylan have settled into a comfortable rhythm, and Peter has to admit that they are, in fact, actually friends. Sometimes he’s still not sure how he actually feels about that, given that it’s, well, _Dylan_. But, weirdly enough, he’s actually grown a lot in the year since the dick incident. Maybe it’s the community service he had to do for vandalizing Shapiro’s driveway, or just the amount of time he’s spent around Peter--and by extension, Sam--but he’s a little bit different now. He’s still a weird stoner kid, of course, but he seems a little more mature, and has a lot less of a tendency to say shit that makes Peter want to slap him.

They’re hanging out in the living room, and Peter is trying to concentrate on whatever weird shit Dylan is talking about, but he can’t stop thinking about the whole “pretending to be his best friend/crush’s boyfriend in front of said crush’s entire family” situation. Dylan, unfortunately, seems to know that something’s wrong. He really is weirdly insightful when he wants to be, and he isn’t buying Peter’s insistence that he’s fine.

“Dude, what’s the matter?” he asks for about the sixth time. “Like, seriously, I can tell something’s up. And if you don’t wanna talk about it, you know, that’s fine. Like, I get it if you don’t wanna talk about your feelings or whatever. But seriously, stop just saying nothing’s wrong, because I know that’s not true.”

Peter sighs. He supposes he should tell someone about this whole situation, and Dylan is as good as anyone. “Okay, fine,” he says finally. “Um...Sam asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend at his cousin’s graduation party.”

Dylan pauses, looking confused. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, he’s trying to, like, spite his homophobic uncle or something.”

“No no no, dude, hold on. What do you mean ‘pretend?’ Did you guys break up or something?”

“I’m sorry, _what_?”

They stare at each other for a second, perplexed. Then Dylan says, “Wait, are you and Sam not together?”

“I—no. No, we’re not.”

“Huh.”

“Um, just out of curiosity, why exactly did you think we were together?”

“I don’t know, I guess you just...spend a lot of time together, and you...you both kinda have this look you give each other, you know?” He pauses for a moment, and before Peter can ask him what the hell that means, he adds, “It’s not just because you’re both gay. I know two gay dudes can be friends and not be banging. Just like guys and girls can be friends, you know? Like...like how Ganj and I are friends, and I’m a guy and she’s a girl, but are we banging? No.”

“Isn’t Ganj a lesbian?”

“...Okay, yeah, but even if she wasn’t, we would still just be friends. Listen, I got kinda off-topic, but it’s not just like, ‘these guys are gay so they must be together,’ you know? There’s something there.”

“No there’s not,” Peter says, sighing. He hesitates, then adds, softly, “At least, not for him there’s not.” It’s as close to admitting it out loud as he thinks he can get.

“Oh my god, Pete, that is _bullshit_ ,” Dylan says. “He’s into you. I can see it from, like, miles away.”

“I really don’t think so,” Peter protests. “He...I don’t know, he kept telling me about some guy he liked.” To be fair, that was months ago, and Sam didn’t actually seem all that enthusiastic about the guy in question, but Peter still counts it as a strike against the possibility of Sam liking him back.

“Pete. Seriously. Either he was trying to make you jealous, or he thought he liked that guy but then he realized he’s actually into you.”

They’re quiet for a moment, and then Dylan says, “I mean, you’re into him, right?” Peter hesitates, then nods.

“Okay, so you’re telling yourself that there’s no way he likes you because you don’t want to get your hopes up or whatever. But for real, dude, I don’t think you gotta worry about that. You’re gonna be fine.”

 

* * *

 

A few days before the party, Sam comes over to Peter’s house so that they can figure out the details of their fake relationship over a game of Palace, which is about the only card game Peter has ever beaten Sam at.

“Okay,” Sam says as he shuffles the deck, attempting and failing to make a bridge with the cards. “So first of all, how long have we been together?”

Peter, true to form, has been overthinking this whole thing for the past few days, so he’s already come up with some ideas about their “relationship.”

“I was thinking, um, maybe a month?” he says, and Sam nods, then begins dealing the cards.

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Also, I love that you’ve been thinking about this ahead of time.” He sounds so weirdly affectionate that Peter completely forgets how to speak for a second.

“What, you haven’t?” he says finally.

“I mean, yeah, a little,” Sam replies. “But I bet you’ve thought of, like, a whole story about it, right?”

“I...maybe,” Peter admits.

“Okay, hit me,” Sam says. “What’s our story? I mean, I want input on it too, obviously, but you’re good at coming up with stories and shit, so it’ll at least be entertaining.”

“Okay,” Peter says slowly. “So, yeah, I guess we’ve been together for about a month. You were the one who asked me out--”

“Right, and of course you said yes, because I’m just so charming that you couldn’t resist me,” Sam says, nodding. Peter rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, um, you asked me out, and our first date was going to that board game cafe downtown.”

“Dude, no,” Sam says. “We’re so fucking competitive with games, like, I’m surprised we’re not trying to kill each other right now. I love that place, but I wouldn’t take you there for our first date.” He has a point, Peter has to admit.

“How about this,” Sam continues. “Our first date was...it was when we went to see the second _Guardians of the Galaxy_ together. That was about a month ago, right?”

And that’s just not fucking _fair_ , because on top of everything other ridiculous thing about this situation, Sam has decided that their first fake date should be something that they _actually did together_. But unfortunately, Peter can’t really think of any conceivable reason to say no to that, so he relents and says, “Yeah, okay, I guess that makes sense.”

“Okay, cool,” Sam says. “Anything else?”

“Um, our first kiss was at your house, like...a week after we started dating?”

“All right...yeah. So yeah, we’ve definitely kissed, that makes sense. Have, um...do you think we would’ve gone any further than that by now?”

At this point Peter is pretty sure Sam is actively trying to kill him, because really, why else would he say that? To be fair, Peter _did_ consider that when he was thinking about this, but he wasn’t going to actually bring it up.

“Is your uncle going to ask us about that?” he says, staring a hole in his cards because he _cannot_ look at Sam right now.

“Well, no, not my uncle. But my cousins might. Naomi in particular--honestly, I’m like 90% sure she’s not straight, but she just doesn’t feel like she can acknowledge it because, you know, her dad’s not great about that stuff. So she kinda tends to just get really invested in LGBT-related stuff, I guess? So she’s probably gonna want to know a lot about our relationship.”

“That’s still kind of a weird thing to ask your cousin, but okay. Um, what do you think?”

“I mean...probably not, right? Like, we’ve probably made out, but I don’t think we would’ve gone a whole lot further than that.”

“Yeah, that...that sounds about right.”

Sam, thankfully, moves onto another topic and says, “Oh, by the way, I told my parents and my sister about this, so we don’t have to worry about trying to convince them.”

“ _What_? Why would you tell them?”

“Uh, to minimize the number of people we’re gonna have to lie to?”

Peter takes a deep breath, then says, “Okay, but that _increases_ the number of people who know we’re lying and might give it away. Plus they’re probably going to be laughing at us the whole time.” He also doesn’t want to run the risk of Sam’s parents finding out about his stupid crush on their son, but he’s not about to tell Sam that.

“I know,” Sam replies, “but if I didn’t tell them, we would have to keep pretending after the party, and it would probably be at least a couple weeks before I could tell them we broke up or whatever. It’s better this way, dude. Trust me.”

“All right,” Peter says reluctantly. He has to admit that Sam does kind of have a point about having to keep lying to his family after the party.

“Aaand I’m out,” Sam says, putting down his last card.

“Fuck.”

“Seriously,” Sam adds, “it’s gonna be fine.” The same thing Dylan said. Peter sighs, wishing he could believe either one of them.


End file.
